Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
