i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
