We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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