I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
