perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
