Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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