She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize