A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We are all done wearing pants today
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
