I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
