The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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