Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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