Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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