I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
