the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
