there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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