WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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