Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize