elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
