Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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