Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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