You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
