never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
