Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
