oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
