The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
