his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
where am i from again
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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