Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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