turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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