I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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