Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
