Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
