God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
