You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
