I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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