I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
