Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Bring me that man meat
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize