I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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