I can text with my tongue
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
