Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
