So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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