Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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