i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
