repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
