i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
