She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why do cheetos always look like penises
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
