Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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