HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
