Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize