On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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