using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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