so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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