When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize