Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
