her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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