i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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