So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
