i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
