don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
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