btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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