Me. At least after what I've been through.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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