And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
