do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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