No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
