Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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