She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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