I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
