Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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