some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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