He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
