jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
