dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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