also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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