Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
